Community Stories

Shalom’s Story

Shalom Lim, one of AWWA Community Integration Service (CIS) clients, has written a beautiful and powerful poem, together with his mother, Mrs Grace Lim-Ngo. In it, he reflects on his experiences living with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD) and exclusion from social interactions at school, and shares his vision of an inclusive society: “but reach out – and ask, if I would your friend be”.

Figure 1. A photo of Shalom and his mother, Mrs Grace Lim-Ngo, taken in 2004, two years after they wrote the poem together.

The poem emerged from a conversation Shalom had with his mother when he was a child. He had noticed that people would look at him and his older brother, Isaac (who also had DMD), while they were using their wheelchairs in public. When he asked his mother ‘why’, she replied that they enjoyed looking at the brothers because they were beautiful children. She then told Shalom to smile at them if he saw them looking at them the next time. Shalom’s mother also asked how he felt when people looked at him. He answered: “Can we be friends with them?”. Shalom’s mother was touched by his spirit and wished that people would look past his disability and want to be his friends. This gave the duo the idea of penning their shared thoughts down in poetry to express their desire for friendship.

Shalom said, “Growing up, I didn’t experience any outright exclusion from my peers, but due to a combined lack of mobility and the strength needed to speak clearly because of DMD, I felt left out of most social interactions at school as I couldn’t approach people the way others could, and they couldn’t hear what I was saying most of the time so that greatly hindered my communication with others. Nevertheless, I learnt to accept myself for my limitations and moved on with life. I do recall one negative incident in Secondary One where a group of my peers got upset with me when they saw that I had additional time on an exam and claimed it was unfair because they thought that I could write quite fast. Little did they know that DMD hampered my writing ability.”

Shalom loved to paint, and in 2007, him and his older brother Isaac released a compilation of their paintings in an inspiring book titled ‘Live Your Dreams!’. Through their book sales, they raised over $100,000 for the upkeep of a wheelchair-accessible van at MDAS.

Due to loss of his upper limb functions, Shalom is no longer able to paint, but he continues to find other avenues to advocate. Every year, he conducts talks in his university to share about his condition, advocate for support, and spread awareness of PWDs in the community. Shalom also completed a 12-session course on becoming a motivational speaker and shared his life story at the Human Library (since renamed “Stories from the Heart”) in 2018 and 2019. In 2019, Shalom was a panel member in the CIS NIE Learning Journey forum. Speaking to the graduating batch of AEDs, Shalom shared his measured thoughts about his experiences, challenges and support received in school.

“My vision of an inclusive society is one where disability is not an afterthought. I want to live in a world where inclusion is not just a popular discourse but a civic duty. For a society to be truly inclusive, persons with disabilities (PWDs) must always be consulted on disability-related matters (“Nothing About Us Without Us”). Schools should teach children disability etiquette from young. Lastly, the community must do what it can to reduce the barriers preventing PWDs from accessing public services and infrastructure, like education, healthcare, and transport.”

This poem premiered at the CIS NIE Learning Journey forum in 2019. Its message to embrace all, and for a change where inclusion is fostered is a call to action for everyone: let’s be the change, let’s realise inclusion for all.

We bring you the poem in writing.

REACHING OUT

(A poem by Grace Lim-Ngo and Shalom Lim)

Don’t just look at me with questions in your eyes
But look my way again,
Let me catch your eye
And ask, if you would be my friend.

I may have lost a gene,
But I have not lost my dreams
And like you, I long for beauty
That true friendships can bring.

I want to love and be loved,
I can be strong for you,
I have the faith that conquers;
The ability to enjoy life, same as you.

Only look beyond my wheelchair,
Come near and discover me,
Look not at me with pity
But reach out –
And ask, if I would your friend be.

© Grace Lim-Ngo and Shalom Lim 2002

Shalom, aged 25, has Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), a progressive muscle-wasting condition that causes the muscles in his body to weaken and lose their function over time. He has recently completed a degree with honours in criminology at the University of Liverpool and hopes to pursue a diploma in counselling in the future. In his free time, Shalom likes to read and watch football.

Grace, Shalom’s mother, was a lecturer at the Centre for English Language Communication at the National University of Singapore. She gave up her career so that she could be there for Shalom and his older brother, Isaac (who also had DMD), in their growing-up years. She loves to read, sing, and laugh.